A Message from The Makers of Class Defect 3

Looks like OnepercentWare, the studio responsible for the recent Class Defect 3, a popular role-playing science fiction videogame which outraged fans with its horrible ending, is has finally listened to its fans after all. Here's their statement, helpfully translated from its original corporatese:

OnepercentWare

Class Defect 3

An official press release went out today announcing how we are re-purgatorizing the Class Defect 3 post-release driblet schedule to provide a more flushed-down-the-drain experience for franchise serfs (also called “players”). For many of you serfs, the “Extended Slug” will help answer your meaningless questions about why you, the franchise serfs, exist solely to enrich us, the 1%, your lords and masters. Oh and it’s at no cost to you serfs, because you're too *^&% stupid to know that you only get what you pay for. Whoops, is this mike on? Testing, testing...

Here is a mini FAQ-U to help franchise serfs understand what the Class Defect 3: Extended Slug is and isn’t:

What can franchise serfs expect from the Extended Slug DLC?

For franchise serfs who want more colors in the Class Defect 3 endings, the DLC will offer extended colors that provide additional tones and deeper palettes to the conclusion of Commander Shepard’s completely meaningless journey.

Are there going to be more/different endings or ending DLCs in the future?

No. OnepercentWare strongly believes in the endings of Deus Ex – er, Class Defect 3 – all of which praise and glorify the once and future omnipotence of the 1%, who will rule forever and ever and ever. The extended cut DLC will add a few cut-scenes to the existing endings (a small matter of galacticide and the complete destruction of everything the series ever stood for, matters of no import to you serfs), but no further ending DLC is planned.

What is OnepercentWare adding to the ending with the Extended Slug DLC?

OnepercentWare will expanding on the endings to Deus Ex – er, Class Defect 3 – by creating additional cut-scenes. The goal of these new scenes is to showcase the full glory and munificence of the eternal rule of the 1%.

When will the Extended Slug DLC be available?

Currently the Extended Slug DLC is planned for this summer, no specific date has been announced at this point.

Why are you releasing the Extended Slug DLC?

Though we remain committed to the rule of the 1% and are proud of the choicelessness we inflicted on franchise serfs in the main game, we are aware that there are some serfs would like more glorification of the 1% in Class Defect 3. The goal of the DLC is not to provide a new ending to the game, rather to offer serfs additional reasons to grit their teeth and sacrifice their wallets, their dignity and their very lives to the almighty 1%.

Will there be more Class Defect 3 DLC?

More ways to fleece our serfs are constantly being devised and we will release information at a later date.

So there you have it. Are we proud of our role in serving the 1% and the game which certifies its genocide-stained rule? Hell yes. Are we going to change the ending of the game? No. Do we appreciate the passion and listen to the feedback delivered to us by you serfs? After selling 3 million copies of a videogame which kicks you serfs in the teeth and smears your choicelessness and misery all over your serf faces, we're laughing so hard that it's really, really hard to stop. But we always do, because then it's time to deposit your money in our banks. Which we own. Well, time to hit our yachts again. Enjoy your broken economy, collapsing infrastructure and falling real wages, suckers!