Cablegate Ahoy!

Avast, ye swabs, the good pirate ship Wikileaks and its band of merry uploaders has made off with a kingly haul of the Empire's secrets, presently a-mirroring its way across the mediatic seas. Now here be a pretty bauble from that stash, where some low-level stooge of a dying Empire (a stooge who wouldn't know a democratic election if it bit them on the aft) smears Evo Morales, the democratically-elected President of Bolivia and, to paraphrase Tariq Ali, honorary pirate of the Caribbean:

"A leader with strong anti-democratic tendencies, over the years he has been known to bribe, threaten, and even physically intimidate anyone who has stood in his way, including government officials, politicians, and cocalero colleagues..."

Notice our Imperial stooge can't point out a single example of an actual undemocratic act or policy by Morales. That's because Morales has fought like hell for Bolivian democracy his entire life.
But who needs actual facts, when our stooge has amazing telepathic powers which can descry "anti-democratic tendencies" through sheer force of Washingtonian will. It's the miracle of faith-based diplomacy -- whatever the Empire believes, must be true! But the smear job is just beginning:

"While Morales excels at domestic political machinations, he is more like a struggling student in the areas of economics and international relations decisionmaking..."

If you can't play the Castro card, play the race card: those brown peasants south of the border are easily bamboozled, so let's sucker them with some low-cost teaser loans with balloon payments five years down the line. This is the same obnoxious line you'll find in countless email messages from the punters, scam artists and boiler room operators who heaped contempt on poor people while swindling them out of their life savings with fraudulent mortgages. But unfortunately for our stooge, there are other Bolivians who have the temerity to act in their country's good, instead of for the enrichment of comprador/Wall Street elites:

"His domestic intellectual advisers (SEPTEL), who include Vice President Alvaro Garcia Linera, Minister of the Presidency Juan Ramon Quintana, and Minister of Planning Carlos Villegas, are largely leftist ideologues and have tended to have more influence with the President compared to his domestic political advisers because of his difficulty grasping complex economic theories and lack of experience in the international arena. Unfortunately, some of this advice borrows from a storehouse of discredited ideas and fantasyland assumptions."(Source: Cablesearch)


[Mighty gale of pirate laughter.] Arrr, this be the funniest thing I've read all year, a bankrupt Empire lecturing about fantasyland! And pray tell, just what discredited ideas would those be -- notions such as providing actual collateral for a mortgage loan, or having a functional industrial base instead of a bunch of bogus CDOs, or an economy not powered by current account deficits of hundreds of billions of dollars per annum financed by the semiperiphery, or elections not bought and paid for by worthless rentier scum financed by trillion dollar government bailouts for sleazy and busted gambler elites?

But don't worry, Mr. Stooge. The sun is setting on your Empire's villainy, and for each site you take down, a thousand more will appear in its place. Just remember, fellow pirates -- real pirates don't pillage, real pirates share!