Bye, Bye, Imperial Pie

Bye, Bye Imperial Pie (with apologies to the Don McLean original):

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How subprime used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those CDOs dance
And, maybe, the US would stay solvent for a while.

But October made Wall Street shiver
With every CDS delivered.
Bad news on the Street;
They couldn't take on more debt.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about Goldman's AIG bribe,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Empire died.

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

Did you rid the books of mortgage fraud,
And do you have faith in regulators above,
If the FASB tells you so?
Do you believe in ROE,
Can bailouts save your equity,
Can you get the dollar to decline real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with GAAP
'cause I saw your pretax earnings snap
You beat the Street on revenues
Man, I dig those accounting rules

I was a lonely accountant on hold
At a ratings agency about to fold
But I knew I was getting rolled
The day liquidity died.

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

Now for ten months banks aren't lending cash
securities crash, CMBS are trash
But that's not how it used to be
When Wall Street declared the end of history
With credit borrowed from BRIC countries
And collateral that came from you and me

Ten years later, the BRICs ride high
Their trillion dollar economies thrive
But that's not how it used to be.
When their compradors sang the IMF's tune,
With ideologies borrowed from Hayekian loons
And collateral that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the ratings agencies looked away
Banksters were making subprime hay
Glass-Steagall was repealed;
CDOs were sealed.
And while neoliberals scorned the Left
The BRICs purchased the IMF
And Citicorp prayed for TARP
The day the Empire died.

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

Let's invest in a dotcom prospectus
No business plan or revenue offsets
Four trillion dollars of market cap
Exploded and Enron took the rap
Speculators tried to short the ride
With Greenspan on the sidelines rescuing LTCM's hide

Now 1% funds were sweet perfume
While the oiligarchy played a colonial tune
The banks all got up to dance
Oh, but the taxpayer never had a chance!
'Cause Wall Street had rigged the field
Treasury bills paid low yield
Do you recall the leverage revealed
the day the Empire died?

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

Oh, and there we were all turned to stone
A generation's 401Ks are gone
With no capital to start again
So come on: Goldman be nimble, Sachs be quick!
Goldman Sachs knew politics
'Cause your tax dollars are Wall Street's only friend

Oh, and as I watched Paulson on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No politician or party hack
Dared incur Wall Street's wrath
And as the markets continued to expire
The Feds threw fourteen trillion onto the pyre
The taxpayer paid for AIG, Maiden Lane, and all the banks
The Fed even bought one trillion of toxic CMBS – gee, thanks!
The day the Empire died

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

I met a newscaster who read the news
And asked her about those green shoots
But she was broke and looking for a job
I went down to the local store
Where I temped years before
But the man there said they were closing down.

And in the streets, unemployment rose
State budgets crashed, and deficits explode
But not one criminal trial was brought
The regulators had all been bought
And the three people with sense,
Bill Black, Liz Warren, and Nomi Prins,
Got no mainstream media or press
The day the Empire died

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”

I started singing,
Bye, bye, Imperial pie
Drove interest rates to zero
but liquidity was dry
The Federal Reserve pumped up the money supply
Saying, “Otherwise the market will die”
“Otherwise the market will die.”